Its hard to tell when a mans life takes a turn that changes his life forever. Understanding what drives and motivates a human man is something i had begun to believe was possible through everyday normality. I now know however that it is not through such blankness or even through the experimentation of drugs and sex that homes a mans life in a clear path in which only he can see. But through the loss of not infatuation of a female partner. But in the loss of someone whom he loves so dearly, someone whom had been with him his entire life. Having only been seconds born to be held by such a being.
The talks are relentless at such a young age and boys will always be boys. Arrogant and lustful for power in the little things. Lego and star wars, such a brilliant combination, and yet boys are blessed with the joys a father sacrifices for him. Its not until the boy has finally become a man where he can see the true beauty in an elegant and meaningful conversation, no longer about games or girls, but about life with true meaning and purpose. The ignorance has left completely and all that is left is a iron will towards a goal. No longer can the man be swayed by illogical thinking and social marketing. He knows his own true merits and believes in them so blindly that he would rather die than to not follow his heart.
And now, comes a time in a mans life where his life turns upside down, and never before could such despair ever be imagined ever. How is it, does the man wonder, how woman are such good actresses, that even through the most influential and yet devastating of pains can they go about their days with a smile. Leaving the viewers clueless to the truth they behold. I can never understand for I am a man. And today is the day in which as a man, I have never felt such a deep impact to my very existence, to the very things i hold and cherish so much, and love unconditionally.
Its strange, just last week I had told a long lost friend that I would never understand until it happens. And well, I feel this is just the beginning of a possible end. An end that is inevitable, yet I had never dreamed would come.
I had a thought today while it was all sinking deep into my brain. Why is it that in situations like these does almost everyone turn to God? Why is it. That only in these times of crisis, do we turn to God? I should be ashamed for being one of these people. But in all honesty. I pray to thy Lord. Please,